


Not Supposed to Happen

by LastHope



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Off-Screen Suicide, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 11:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastHope/pseuds/LastHope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to do this. You weren't supposed to find out like this. </p><p>*Based of Head-canon going around on Tumblr about how/why Terezi was in the Dreambubble*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Supposed to Happen

When you woke up, it was sudden. Your awakening reminded you of how Past You woke up after passing out when Kanaya decided that the middle of the fucking lab was a brilliant place to chainsaw Tavros’ legs. In front of everybody, no less. God, that had been fucking horrible. You managed to wake up on Prospit just in time to die. And the time after that- it made you nauseous just thinking about it.

This time though, you were bursting in awareness from on the floor. Seeing as you hadn’t passed out, you weren’t on the floor- though, the floor anywhere else was better than where you had fallen asleep this time.

The nutrition block. Of all places, the nutrition block. You had somehow managed to fall asleep at the table there, so when you abruptly jolted to awareness, you sat straight up, back making harsh contact with the back of your chair, neck craning back just enough to be decidedly uncomfortable, but not enough to actually break it. But that wasn’t your real problem with where you fell asleep. It was the nutrition block- a _public_ place. You mean, of course everybody knew you were asleep, they all saw you in that damned dreambubble, but knowing it and seeing it was two completely separate things.

You got up from your chair, leaning backwards and stretching your back until it popped and cracked pleasantly. You resisted the urge to yawn, because damnit, you weren’t still tired, no matter how little or long you slept, ignoring the time period prior to your impromptu nap gone without sleep. Knowing Strider, he could probably quote both how long your nap was and how long you had gone before sans sleep, but you weren’t up for a confrontation with him. You weren’t ready to deal with him and his ‘ironic’ levels of douche-ness yet.

You weren’t really sure what to do next, though. You couldn’t remember why exactly you had come to the nutrition block before you fell asleep, but you had no real reason to head back to your respite block either. You supposed you could head up to the lab, see if Kanaya was awake yet, or, better yet, go see if Terezi was up yet. You remembered passing one of the rooms- you can’t remember which now -on your way to the nutrition block and hearing her prattle on about something or another, but you hadn’t cared at the time about what it was that she was going on about.

But now… Well, it was probably a good idea to check up on her.

Yeah, that would be what you did, you told yourself, exiting the nutrition block. Go check up on Terezi. Even if it was just a walk by her room to make sure she was alright, that would still be enough.

You made up your mind and stepped onto the transportalizer pad that would take you to the hall you vaguely remembered seeing the room Terezi was in, nodding to yourself. You had already resigned yourself that you wouldn’t be able to have your flushed feelings for Terezi reciprocated, so you firmly intoned on yourself that this was just something friends did- checked up to make sure they were okay. It wasn’t because you still pitied her- even though some part of you still did.

When you materialized in the hall and stepped off the transportalizer pad, time seemed to stand still.

The first thing that stepped into your awareness was the smell of blood. You weren’t as scent or taste obsessed as Terezi that you could name whose blood it was without thinking, but because of the keen sense of smell trolls had, you could definitely tell that it was blood. That caused your bloodpusher to jump a bit- were you under attack? Had Jack finally caught up to you guys? Was someone wounded?

The second thing you noticed was down the hall- Rose and Kanaya. You hadn’t even been aware that they were awake. Last you had known, they were still in the dreambubble. They were conversing now, deep in conversation, worried looks on their faces.

The familiar weight of your sickle was in your hand- funny, you didn’t know you had retrieved it from your strife specibus, -as you made your way down the hall. It was weird though. Some part of you knew that this had to be an urgent situation, and yet you were plodding down the hall as if you were wading through waist-deep mud.

“…didn’t See this…”

“…too, it’s possible that…”

“…could maybe do something…”

“…need to keep Karkat away…”

It was like you couldn’t hear quite clearly. You heard only fragments of the conversation between Kanaya and Rose, not the whole thing. It was like you were disconnected from reality for some reason, you didn’t know why.

Your name, though, you heard loud and clear.

“What keeping me away?” Because that’s what you think they were talking about. Keeping you away. From what though? You knew you weren’t God Tier, but that didn’t mean you had to be kept from a fight. Damn, your voice sounded hoarse, and your protein chute actually felt drier than Alternia during light season.

Kanaya and Rose were startled by you- had they not seen you coming? You watched as both of them looked towards the door they were standing by before returning their attention to you.

“It’s nothing, Karkat.” Kanaya’s usual habit of meticulously articulating her words made it difficult to tell whether or not she was actually telling the truth. From how your bloodpusher was pounding in your ears, you were willing to bet that she was. “We just weren’t sure if you were still asleep or not. Too much sleep isn’t healthy for you.”

Yeah, and like too little was. You knew that if anybody on the meteor had found you asleep, they would have left you be, healthy or not. You had gone weeks without sleep before, like that was any healthier than sleeping away a day or three.

“I would have thought you would have absconded to your respite block immediately after awakening,” Rose observed, staring at you like you had done something wrong. No, you realized after a moment, it wasn’t you she was staring at. It was your hand- more specifically, your sickle. You still had it out.

You stared at it for a moment yourself before you relocated it back to your strife specibus. You caught out of the corner of your eye Rose nodding to herself, and you felt like you had to break the awkward silence that was slowly settling.

“I,” You hesitated, voice sounding a bit hoarse. You coughed a bit, attempting to clear it, before you tried to speak once more. “I was looking for Terezi. She- She didn’t seem too happy when I ran into her in the dreambubble. I just wanted to check up on her.”

You watched as Rose and Kanaya exchanged a look with each other, and you suddenly felt like you were on the wrong side of a secret.

The smell of blood, you absently noted, was stronger here.

“Is something wrong?” You’re twitchy. Unsettled. Something was wrong, you just didn’t know what.

“No,” Rose answered a little too quickly for your tastes. Terezi would probably shout guilty at that, demand to know the secret from her, but Terezi wasn’t here, Terezi was why you were here- what were they keeping from you? “Everything is just fine with us up here. You, on the other hand, Karkat, you look as if you could use some more sleep. Maybe you should go down to your respite block for some real rest. I imagine that the table wasn’t very comfortable.” It wasn’t, but you weren’t about to leave. Everything wasn’t just fine up here, that was obvious, what wasn’t obvious was what was wrong.

“I’m fine,” Your tone was a little snappy, but you didn’t care. “I smell blood. Care to revise your answer?” You weren’t the leader any more, but you didn’t care. You wanted answers, and you wanted them now.

“Karkat, you seem to be forgetting about certain attributes of some of us,” Kanaya interjected, and your eyes slid over to her. Oh. Right. You had somehow managed to forget about her rainbow drinker problem.

You didn’t color because of your mistake, but you did shuffle your feet a bit awkwardly.

“Sorry,” You mumbled a bit awkwardly, rubbing your arm, eyes fixated on the floor. Nothing felt very connected. The smell of blood was still sharp in your nose, but your thoughts were all disconnected.

“You don’t seem alright Karkat,” Kanaya said after a beat, and your eyes jumped up to look at her. “Maybe I should walk you down to your respite block.”

“I want to talk to Terezi,” You felt like a petulant wriggler, but you didn’t care. “Not go to my respite block.”

They shared another look. You _saw_ it. They were hiding something from you. Something about Terezi. What would there be to hide from you about Terezi?

“Unfortunately, Terezi isn’t up here right now.” Rose stated coolly, looking from Kanaya back to you. “I believe that she went downstairs with the Mayor to assist in some renovations with Can Town. I’m sure she’ll want to see you after she’s done.”

You didn’t buy it one bit, but you supposed you could acquiesce just this once. You always had the opportunity to sneak back up here after Kanaya left you in your respite block.

You and Kanaya though, had only made it two steps towards the transportalizer when it flashed, granting a new member to the oncoming shit-storm.

You had never thought you’d see Strider look so ruffled, out of it, so just plain _uncool_. His shades were skewed on his face, and his God Tier cape was still twisted on part of his arm.

“Rose, what was it you meant when you found Terezi dead-”

You froze, blood pulsing in your ears, the smell of it absolutely burning in your nose. Whatever else Strider had to say was lost to you, fallen upon deaf ears on your part.

“Dead?” Your voice cracked. You took a step away from Kanaya, staring between Rose and her. “Terezi? _Dead?_ ” There were tears burning in your eyes. You forced them down.

“What’s Strider talking about?” You forced yourself to stay calm, eyes now darting between all three.

“Jesus, _you didn’t tell him?”_ Rose glared sharply at Dave.

“We were handling it just fine, until you entered brother,” Her voice was a sharp as her look.

“Nothing,” Kanaya spoke over the two humans. “They are talking about nothing, Karkat. You needn’t worry about it.”

“No,” Your mouth moved on its own. “Don’t hide anything from me. I’m not some wriggler Kanaya, I have as much a right to know as anyone else here!”

“Karkat, I believe it would be in everybody’s best interest if you calmed down,” Rose’s voice was irritatingly calm.

“ **I** believe that it would be in everybody’s best interest if you stopped keeping _fucking secrets!”_ You screamed overtop of Rose.

“Karkat,” Kanaya started, but you lashed out at her.

“ _No!”_ Your fist was fast, you swung out with thinking, and holy shit that was blood in the air, oh my fucking god when did you pull your sickle out of your strife specibus, you didn’t remember that, when did that happen-

“What the fuck, man,” Your eyes were still on Kanaya, watching as her hands went to her throat, jade blood bleeding out. She was God Tier though, she’d live, this couldn’t be some sort of just death for her, you were lashing out, and there was metal on metal clinging in the air as you brought your sickle up to block Strider’s sword.

You don’t know if it was the adrenaline or what, but you somehow managed to get through the infallible Strider’s defense, landing a cheap but solid punch in his gut. You didn’t want to draw any blood, no, what you wanted was answers, just answers, because no, Terezi couldn’t be dead, she just couldn’t, that wasn’t right, wasn’t possible.

Before Rose could launch her own assault on you, or Kanaya or Strider could recover enough to go round two, you hurled yourself across the hall to the door that Rose and Kanaya had been in front of. The smell of blood was strongest here.

“You don’t want to open that Karkat.” Rose was as calm as ever, and you snarled. “Trust me, you don’t want to.”

You don’t remember what you growled at her, maybe fuck off, you couldn’t remember because after you flung the door open your world collapsed.

_Swish._

_Swish._

_Cre-eak._

_Swish._

You thought maybe you screamed. Maybe you didn’t. You remembered that you punched the door though- the pain in your hand was too real for you not to have.

You were on the ground at some point. Strider, you swore it was, was holding you down. You were too out of it to tell for certain, but you thought that he was crying too. You faintly heard Rose and Kanaya calmly discussing overtop of you as if this was a normal afternoon tea.

There was something dark and black creeping up along the edges of your thinkpan, crawling across your mind, edging you out of conscious. You slammed your head back, trying to stay conscious, wanting to believe that what you were seeing wasn’t real, but it was no use.

You never thought you would see a noose around anyone’s neck but a scalemate. Her scalemates. You never wanted to see a noose around the neck of anything but a scalemate. Especially not any of your friends.

Especially not _her._

The last thing you saw before you were robbed of your consciousness was Terezi’s body, swinging back and forth like a pendulum, head and face covered by her dragon cloak, kept in the air by a rope tied to an overhead pipe.

**Author's Note:**

> There may be tense problems that I didn't catch. When I was writing, I was doing so in past, but a few times I slipped up and wrote in present. I'm fairly certain I caught them all, but if you catch any discrepancies, please let me know so I can fix them!


End file.
